Sunday, April 09, 2006
Man's hatred of weddings is easily explained actually...they're gay. Not that the ceremony itself is gay or that the meaning/symbolism behind it all is gay or that the wedding planner is gay....well, the wedding planner might be gay, but that's beside the point. The gayness to which I am referring is the whole fashion show theatrics of it all.
From the toenail polish that matches the hair clip that matches the pink flower on the grooms lapel...nothing is left to chance. Seriously.....the bride and groom go through months of visiting churches, photographers, florists, hairstylists, bridal shops, tuxedo shops...and for what? So that after the reception you can have someone say "The meat was little tough." or "The crab poofs weren't very poofy." or "If I ever hear that f***ing 'Brick House' song again it'll be too soon..."
You see, women plan these things knowing full well that they night as well call their wedding day "Judgement Day." Because that is what all of the women do, and we the men, have to suffer through it. "I can't believe she chose those bridesmaid dresses." "The cake is so dry it's like eating out of a litter box..."
It boils down to the bride wanting to have everyone they know see them during the happiest moment of their life. On the flip side, no one gets to see the groom during the happiest moment of his life. Obviously, I'm referring to the limo ride from the church to the reception. Well, I guess I shouldn't say no one gets to see the groom at his happiest....I mean, there is a driver.
From the toenail polish that matches the hair clip that matches the pink flower on the grooms lapel...nothing is left to chance. Seriously.....the bride and groom go through months of visiting churches, photographers, florists, hairstylists, bridal shops, tuxedo shops...and for what? So that after the reception you can have someone say "The meat was little tough." or "The crab poofs weren't very poofy." or "If I ever hear that f***ing 'Brick House' song again it'll be too soon..."
You see, women plan these things knowing full well that they night as well call their wedding day "Judgement Day." Because that is what all of the women do, and we the men, have to suffer through it. "I can't believe she chose those bridesmaid dresses." "The cake is so dry it's like eating out of a litter box..."
It boils down to the bride wanting to have everyone they know see them during the happiest moment of their life. On the flip side, no one gets to see the groom during the happiest moment of his life. Obviously, I'm referring to the limo ride from the church to the reception. Well, I guess I shouldn't say no one gets to see the groom at his happiest....I mean, there is a driver.
No comments:
Post a Comment