Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows SPOILER

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows SPOILER Ok, so if you have a "Voldemort for President" bumper sticker on your car you obviously are getting chicks. But more importantly, if you have one of these stickers then you do not want to read the following spoiler. The final book in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, will be released on July 21 with the movie coming in 2010. Well, since I don't read, I know that I'll be unable to go 3 years without hearing who dies and how the story of the world's greatest wizard wraps up. Even if I did read...700 pages? I mean, come on...That being said, when I heard that a world famous hacker had reportedly gotten a hold of the last book, immediately I thought, "Cliff notes!!" The following is the hacker's post: Dear my brothers, Voldemort killed Hermione. Yes, that's true. And we knew that 2 days ago. This is the end of the not yet published (someone could call that 0day) book Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows . At the end of the story Hagrid was killed by Snape in the attempt of ambush Hermione and Ron. Ron and Hermione flees in privet drive but Voldermort, surprising them, engaged a magical duel with Ron and Hermione. Voldemort attacked trough the imperius curse and Hermione, to protect the life of Ron fight hardly for more than 6 pages and then finally die. (boring, very boring... it's always the same story!) Then, to make a long story short, Harry came up, killed all the bad guys and Hogwarts against became a good place to stay and have fun. Ah, i missed one important information about Draco Malfoy, he started to create Horcrux (for fun and profit!). The end This information could be true or it could be false. Either way...I feel there's a 50/50 chance that it could go either way. One thing that leads me to believe it's legite is the writing skills of the hacker...they're horrible. He's obviously the type of guy that could take our country to Defcon 4 with his hacking skills, but his writing skills leave much to be desired. And if this is really how it all ends I am questioning J.K. Rowlings writing skills as well. First off, there's the issue of killing off Hermione. So much for being a strong woman J.K. Just go ahead an kill off the smart, strong and beautiful heroine. Why not Ron? I mean, come on...it's not like the Weasley's would miss him. Plus, they're poor. It would be a good thing. I just hate to see Hermione go. At first, Hermione was one of my least favorite characters, but she has slowly become one of my favorites. Maybe it's because she gets hotter with each movie. Regardless she deserves to live. Secondly, I have no problem with Hagrid dying. I n fact, I'm quite looking forward to seeing how Snape takes him down. I imagine it will be with a tranquilizer gun. Then, when he's down, Snape kills him and turns him into a throw rug. You know, like a big bear rug. I can see Snape sitting there in front of the fire, listening to Marilyn Manson, reading spell books all the while resting his feet on Hagrids huge, furry head. What? Too gruesome for a children's book? Well, then someone should tell all of the adults to stop reading this shit and then maybe they'll be written for kids. Thirdly, Harry kills all of the bad guys. I have no problem with that either. Good guys deserve to win. Although in real life good guys finish last and always get dicked over. If this were real life Harry would probably become Voldemort's bitch, but this isn't real life...it's freakin' wizards. So, just like Harry Callahan in Dirty Harry, Potter will take out the trash. "Now I know what you're thinking Voldemort. Do I have one or two wands up my sleeve? Well you have to ask yourself one question: do you feel lucky punk? Well, do you?" All in all, if this is a true spoiler, knowing how it all ends isn't the worst thing in the world. No, the worst thing in the world will be lining up at the inevitable Harry Potter Conventions to get these actors autographs now that their movie careers are over.