Sex In My Bathroom

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Sex in my Bathroom I can hear the question now..."CJ, what took you so long to post another one of your infamous (more than famous) blogs?" Well, there's a simple answer actually...inspiration. You see, I could write a blog everyday, but they would go something like this: Today I woke up, had some coffee, took a shit, rolled into work, spent the day replacing money that I already had on the books, came home, took another shit (I'm very regular) went out, had some drinks then passed out. Not very exciting is it? So it is with great excitement that I am able to write again. I never would have thought that sex in my bathroom would cure my writer's block (did I have writer's block or was I on strike?), but sure as hell it's gone now. I now hear the next question..."CJ when did you have sex in your bathroom with someone other than yourself?" Well, there's a simple answer actually...it wasn't me that had sex in my bathroom. No, it was a friend of mine (who's name I will not reveal to protect the innocent) and his girlfriend, whom he had just introduced me to. The evening started off pretty typically. I caught a cab to meet them for dinner. Yes, I cab it to dinner because my dinner usually consists of Vodka. Don't judge me. Anyway, we start our dinner and are informed by the waiter that it is trivia night and we need to partake. I felt that with my good looks and their brains that we stood a pretty good chance of winning so naturally we stay. Now, you may not know this, but "staying" is synonymous with "drinking" in "Geoffroy's Dictionary." The night continues on and we continue to stay (drink). The time eventually comes for us to call it a night and they volunteer to drive me home. What I didn't know is that they'd be driving each other home shortly thereafter... We get back to my place and continue drinking on the porch. Hey, I live in Hyde Park...no one drinks inside. A little more time passes and she announces that she has to go to bathroom. "Where is your bathroom" she asks. I tell her it's down the hallway, 5th door on the right. If you've been to my place you know that's funny. However, being the chivalrous gentleman that he is, says "I'll show you." I wait outside. I have no concept of time so it took me a while to realize that they hadn't come out of the bathroom yet, much less made their way back to the porch. I don't know how to end this blog other than to say that when they emerged back outside they announced that they were now engaged and that they had violated my bathroom. Now I know what you're thinking..."Uh....what?" But, before you pass judgement, I think it's romantic. I mean, who hasn't dreamed of being proposed to in the place where I trim my privates and drop the kids off at the pool? You stay classy Hyde Park.